Dear Neighbor,
I hope this letter finds you well and that you were not affected by the recent weather. Things are great my way. My days are filled with a unique sense of chaos, joy, and the occasional tinge of frustration. Spence will be four in June, and Madeline will be two in July.
The old saying, “the days are long, but the years are short,” went in one ear and out the other prior to having children. Now, it is my mantra on the tough days and the words to a sad ballad that plays in my mind when they let me snuggle them on the couch. I was rubbing Spencer’s back last night as he fell asleep, trying to etch into my memory how soft his skin felt. It got me thinking about how soft and tender children are in all ways. Their brains aren’t tangled in the things that keep us from being kind to each other. They don’t notice political affiliations, race, income, or even potential danger.
Spencer loves to meet strangers. He enjoys talking to people in the grocery store line whose shirts he likes, and he often greets the homeless gentleman with the cute dog in front of his favorite Chinese takeout place. He loves to introduce himself and throw out a compliment or two. I have even witnessed him challenge a woman in her seventies to a dance-off after he saw her swaying along to some Christmas music. I love that he finds joy with strangers from all walks of life, without reservation or judgment. I always encourage him to look everyone in the eye and use “yes, ma’am” and “no, sir” with everyone he meets. I see things in him I wish more adults would adopt.
Yet, I am also pitted against the fear of something happening to him. It is easy now because he is always with an adult, but how do I tell him not everyone is good without ruining that soft quality? Especially knowing, as an adult, there is no way to tell who the “bad” people are. There is simply no common thread woven between them.
How do I prepare him for the world when I am so conflicted myself? I think kindness and empathy are what is missing in our world, but I also know those traits can make you a target. How do I make him tough, but not mean? I want him to be selfless in his service toward others, but firm when it comes to his boundaries. Kindness is a superpower, but how do I make sure it does not become his kryptonite? Do you have any advice on how to keep him kind and unscathed by the dangers of the world around him?
With love,
Thalia
P.S. Please write me back! I would love to hear some of your wisdom. Thunley@yourdailyjournal.com or bring it by the office. You can stay anonymous but don’t leave me hanging.