ROCKINGHAM — For survivors of domestic violence there are many obstacles to overcome, not least of which is the feeling of being alone.

On Tuesday, New Horizons held its annual candlelight vigil, at which Richmond County leaders and community members listened to local survivors of domestic violence and remembered those who had been lost.

There have been 42 deaths because of domestic violence in North Carolina this year, according to New Horizons. Each name was listed on four silhouettes before the crowd at the vigil. Each name also was tied to a balloon that would be released at the end.

“Whether you believe it or not, time heals the pain but never — never ever — forget what was done to you,” said Bridget Little, who spoke at length about the loss of her husband and sister-in-law to domestic violence 15 years ago.

Little described the stages of emotions she went through, starting with numbness, then denial, disbelief, bitterness and sadness. She reminded the people gathered at the vigil that it’s normal to feel these things.

“Never let anyone tell you it’s not normal,” Little said. “These are healthy and appropriate feelings, and they helped me capture the good times and to have compassion for others who have experienced loss.”

Little said crying became a daily occurrence and she eventually had an emotional breakdown in her first year as a single parent that left her unable to work or care for her then 8-year-old daughter until her parents stepped in.

“I can stand here today and tell you that I am not fully healed, but I decided in my mind to forgive,” she said. “I had to learn forgiveness is the way.”

For Kristi Richardson King and her family the domestic violence was just a matter of time. Her brother — an Eagle Scout and good student — murdered their parents after 20 years of threats, King said.

“We always thought it could happen but never thought it would,” King said.

King expressed regret for her own handling of the situation, saying she was too “naive” to recognize it for what it was. She wished she was more proactive in pushing for her brother to go to and commit to rehab, taken his threats on the lives of her parents seriously — they had been so common that they were brushed off — and paid closer attention.

King had a warning for current and future people who may be in that situation.

“Watch the signs,” she said. “If you see someone you think is in a bad situation, help them.”

Her brother hasn’t changed since and still doesn’t admit guilt, King said. But she still believes people can change.

“People can change, but they’ve got to want to change,” King said.

News Horizons Board President Melinda Murphy said not to wait around in a bad situation for that change to take place.

“If it starts, it will continue,” she said.

Anyone in a domestic violence situation or knows of someone in that situation can call New Horizons’ 24-hour crisis hotline at 910-997-4840 or their office at 910-997-4448. Visit www.newhorizonsagency.com for more information.

Gavin Stone | Daily Journal Whitney Shuler, right, and Lucy McIntyre hold candles Tuesday in honor of those lost to domestic violence at New Horizons’ annual vigil.
https://www.yourdailyjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/web1_IMG_4546-1.jpgGavin Stone | Daily Journal Whitney Shuler, right, and Lucy McIntyre hold candles Tuesday in honor of those lost to domestic violence at New Horizons’ annual vigil.

Gavin Stone | Daily Journal Bridget Little spoke Tuesday about the loss of her husband and sister-in-law to domestic violence at New Horizons’ annual vigil.
https://www.yourdailyjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/web1_IMG_4574-1.jpgGavin Stone | Daily Journal Bridget Little spoke Tuesday about the loss of her husband and sister-in-law to domestic violence at New Horizons’ annual vigil.

Gavin Stone | Daily Journal The attendees of New Horizons’ annual vigil for those killed in domestic violence released balloons bearing the names of the victims from just this year. Dana Annette Foster of Level Cross allegedly was killed by her boyfriend in a murder-suicide in April. Nancy Clark of Granite Falls allegedly was killed by her husband, also in a murder-suicide in January. Tine
https://www.yourdailyjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/web1_IMG_4617-1.jpgGavin Stone | Daily Journal The attendees of New Horizons’ annual vigil for those killed in domestic violence released balloons bearing the names of the victims from just this year. Dana Annette Foster of Level Cross allegedly was killed by her boyfriend in a murder-suicide in April. Nancy Clark of Granite Falls allegedly was killed by her husband, also in a murder-suicide in January. Tine
Domestic violence victims mourned, remembered

By Gavin Stone

Staff Writer

Reach Gavin Stone at 910-817-2674 or [email protected].