ROCKINGHAM — New Horizons Life and Family Services held its annual Domestic Violence Vigil this week, bringing the community together to honor victims and celebrate the strength of survivors.
In front of the courthouse, community members stood shoulder to shoulder in remembrance and solidarity. Local leaders were among those in attendance, including representatives from the Richmond County Sheriff’s Office, the Rockingham Fire Department, District Attorney Jamie Adams, Scotland County’s Captain of Detention Tahid Rucker, Ellerbe Mayor Brenda Capel and Rockingham Mayor John Hutchinson.
“Today, together, we are saying no more. No more silence, no more stigma. No more suffering in the shadows. We honor the survivors who whose courage to speak out, lights a way for others. We pause to remember the lives lost to domestic violence. Each name is a reminder of why we must continue this work with urgency and compassion. We honor the advocates and allies who dedicate their lives to helping survivors find safety, justice and healing. And we honor every person who chose to be here today, because your presence is a commitment to breaking these chains. Let this gathering be more than an event—let it be a movement. A movement where we raise our voices, educate our community and extend our hands to those who need support, because when we break the silence, we open the door to safety. We open the door to freedom, we open the door to hope,” said Teshika Gandy during her introduction.
“May our voices be louder than the silence. May our unity be stronger than the fear and may we continue breaking every chain that keeps this voice hidden,” Gandy continued.
According to statewide data, 54 lives have been lost to domestic violence in North Carolina between Jan. 1 and Oct. 21 this year. Victims ranged from 6 to 79 years old, and 38 were killed by gunfire, including four children. Across the country, domestic violence impacts people every 20 minutes. Nearly half of all women killed worldwide die at the hands of an intimate partner or family member. One in three women and one in four men have experienced physical violence in such relationships. In the United States, a woman is assaulted or beaten every nine seconds, and domestic violence perpetrators are responsible for 30% to 60% of child abuse cases in their households.
The vigil also served as a space for survivors to share their stories. Juanita Dockery, the evening’s keynote speaker, spoke publicly for the first time about her experience surviving more than two decades of abuse.
“I was in a relationship for over 20 plus years. For the greater amount of that relationship, I suffered from domestic violence. This is my first time speaking about something so close and personal to my heart in front of a crowd of unfamiliar faces,” said Dockery.
“I want you to encourage to trust yourself and to know that this too shall pass if you allow it to pass. You gotta take that first step to get out, stay out, to get away, to stay away. Just like in the classic movie, The Wizard of Oz, when the lion wants to see the wizard and ask for courage, only to realize that the courage always lied within himself, as does with you,” Dockery continued.
“With God, love, my husband, prayers bestowed upon me, my family and my friends and with learning to pray for myself, I overcame and at the same time, I became,” said Dockery.
“I need you to realize how short life is and to fully take advantage of life that’s been given to you. Don’t abuse your life by allowing someone to abuse you,” Dockery said.
Cameron Wright, another keynote speaker, also shared her story and reflected on the difficulty and power of starting over.
“I stand before you very nervous as I say publicly for the first time that I am a survivor of domestic violence. I also stand before you as a woman who learned that starting over is difficult, but it is never impossible,” said Wright. “There was a time when I believed that leaving meant losing everything that I had built— my business, my home, what I thought was my stability and even my sense of identity. What I discovered is that leaving wasn’t about what I was losing— it was about reclaiming my life.”
Wright continued, “To be honest, I actually did lose all those things, but what I gained in return was worth letting it go. For many survivors, me included, the first step away from your abuser feels like stepping off a cliff with no safety net. Studies show that on average, a woman will leave an abusive relationship seven times before leaving for good. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, nearly one in four women and one in nine men experienced severe intimate partner violence in their lifetime. These numbers remind us that domestic violence isn’t just happening behind closed doors to strangers, it’s happening in our neighborhoods, to our coworkers and sometimes even within our own family,” said Wright.
She went on to explain why many victims stay in abusive situations.
“People often ask, ‘so why did you stay?’ Well, it’s a simple question within a complex answer. Let’s just start with fear, shame, financial dependence and yes, sometimes love, but the kind that has been twisted by controlling manipulation. Survivors often carry invisible chains— emotional, psychological and spiritual chains that make leaving feel impossible, but by God’s grace, I’m here to tell you, it can be done. There’s a way out and there’s a way forward,” said Wright.
In closing, Wright offered encouragement to others who are healing.
“To my fellow survivors, please hear this. You are not broken, you are healing, you are whole, you are loved and you are worthy and deserving of a beautiful and peaceful life. It’s time to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for believing your abuser was a better person than they actually were. Forgive yourself for staying as long as you did and forgive yourself for the time that you left and went back,” Wright said.
Nigel Bristow, board chair of New Horizons, delivered closing remarks emphasizing accountability, awareness and action.
“Remember what you heard here today. Remember what you saw. Domestic violence is a real thing. It’s more than what you see on TV. It’s real. You’ve seen it, you heard the stories.. So I challenge you all tonight to do something, anything. If you see something, say something. You see someone that’s hurting, you get involved. You see it on the street, you call 911,” said Bristow.
Bristow urged attendees to remember the impact on children and called for greater mental health support and legislative funding.
“We have to also remember the children— the children victims and the children of those that were lost and survived because they have to deal with a future of having that traumatic event that happened. We need our mental health professionals to become more involved,” Bristow said. “Our legislators need to provide funding so that we can address these issues. So again, when you leave here tonight, don’t forget. Don’t forget what you saw, don’t forget what you’ve heard because our victims can never forget.”