Redemption of the soul

First Posted: 12/19/2013

Who among you are without fault?

Who among you have lived their life without fault? I dare to say so very few of us have.

At times in our life, we say and do very foolish and hurtful things. For the most part, this is directed at the ones that we truly care for and cherish more than life itself. But we do not show this in our words or our actions. For this takes place in our youth.

By youth in our adult life, I mean between the ages of 20 and 30. During this time in our life we cannot even say that we know ourselves, so how in the world can we expect to totally understand the people in our life?

This is one of the reasons for the unbelievable rate of divorce in this age group. We tend to pull apart for one reason or the other, just because of little or no understanding of others. In our youth, it is hard for a man and a woman to understand their life together because they don’t even understand their own life.

They are in the first chapter of their book of life. There will be many chapters in this book of life. But the naivete of youth starts to change as the learning starts to take place. These learning lessons of life come very hard to most of us. Some of us make mistakes and learn from these while others will make these same mistakes over and over again all of their life and just can’t seem to get it together.

But those that do see and understand the evil and error of their ways can come back and make a difference in the lives of others.

I am an example of the blind, having had their eyes opened up. My eyes were opened up by myself, to see the pain that I inflected on others during my youth and in my marriage.

In my mid-20s, when the devil was preparing to go to sleep, he would look under his bed just to make sure that I was not there. I was a true beast with no understanding of anyone or anything. It was not the fact that I did not try or want to understand it was simply that I did not know how to. Sad but true.

I had a wonderful family, that I did not deserve, but I did not understand the concept of a true family. I have paid dearly for my unfortunate misunderstanding. I blame no one but myself, for I am man enough to see there was no other at fault.

I don’t care what anyone says, I was a good father and provider. My family never wanted for anything. The bills were always paid. Neither my power nor my water was ever turned off. There was always food, no one ever went hungry. I pay my debt.

Even though I was a good father and provider, I was a very poor husband. I lacked the understanding of my former wife’s close family, as I did not come from a close, caring family at that time. But that has changed.

In my true youth I was raised by a hard and stern father, a former Marine, but that was the way he was raised also. He did not know any better. I make no excuses for him, he did the best he could. I now know, that was his way to prepare me for the hardship and reality of the Marine Corps. It made a true hardcore Marine, but a poor human being. I was hard and harsh.

I have been paying that debt now for what will soon be 30 years.

I met my former wife 10 years too early, hard we both been older, things would have been different. Both of us have done very well for ourselves while apart, it’s just a shame that it could not have been done together. The person that we were 30 years ago does not exist today or should I say that I am not the person that I was 30 years ago. The chapters in my book of life have been many over the years both good and bad. The man that I was has been broken and tamed, but do not think that I do not have a strong backbone. I have been humbled, and see the shame of my younger years. That man is gone forever, never to be seen again. He has been gone for years, I can proudly say this.

All of you think back on your past. Were you perfect? Were you without fault? Can you condemn others and honestly not condemn yourself, for the same crime of youth? Is there no forgiving in our hearts?

How long can we close our hearts and minds to the redemption of the soul?