Eren Tataragasi

Richmond County Daily News

As her senior project, a student at Leak Street Cultural Center wants to alert teenagers to the disturbing reality of domestic violence.

At a school-wide assembly Friday afternoon, senior Ashley Taylor educated her peers to the signs and consequences of domestic violence as part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

“I saw a couple of my friends in these relationships and it brought the issue to my attention,” Taylor said following the assembly.

Taylor has been working on her project since September and said she’s studied a lot of statistics.

“With domestic abuse, it doesn’t matter what your gender, age, size, race ... you can be abused,” Taylor said.

She said the one thing she wanted teenagers to know is that, “you don’t have to be abused, you don’t have to settle. Get help.”

During the assembly it was noted that nearly 30 percent of all women who come into the emergency room are domestic violence cases.

“Children, friends, you, me ... everyone is affected by domestic violence,” said guidance counselor James Ford, who opened the assembly.

Following Ford was a spirited performance by the Leak Street Steppers who chanted “Are you ready to stomp domestic violence out of the door?”

Taylor, who is a part of the steppers, addressed her peers highlighting the signs of domestic violence such controlling behavior, threats of violence, actual violence such as pushing, shoving, slapping etc., and was met with cheers from the crowd when she said, “You have rights, you can get up and leave.”

Karen Bostick with New Horizons addressed the crowd as well and said every Monday and she and others with the non profit domestic violence organization were at the court house, because every Monday is domestic violence day.

“People wonder if there’s that much domestic violence going on, and yes, there is,” Bostick said.

Major James Clemmons with the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department is Taylor’s mentor for her senior project. During his presentation he asked the teenagers to fill out a survey that identified signs of domestic violence in relationships.

“Warning signs should never be ignored,” he said. “You don’t have to deal with this alone.

“There is definitely a cycle and before you get in it you need to break it. You have to make the decision. Domestic violence is very serious and we deal with it every day.”

Clemmons stressed that when a complaint of domestic violence is brought to the department, it’s met with an arrest, especially if there are signs and proof of physical violence.

For teenagers, he stressed the fact that psychological and emotional abuse was the most prevalent, however sexual abuse does happen and it happens more to teenage girls, than teenage boys, he said.

“Girls, a guy will say ‘I love you’ and make all the promises in the world, but one day of dating does not equal a relationship,” Clemmons said. “A relationship takes time to develop and the woman will decide if and when it will become a physical relationship.

Clemmons added that in any relationship, abusive or not, “No means no.”

“No has two letters, yes has three, if you can’t figure out which one’s which, count. A judge will say the same thing. It’s her body.

“And ladies, if he hits you once, he’ll do it again.”

Clemmons added that even threats of violence or threats of forced behavior, such as sex, should be taken very seriously, and reported.

Clemmons said studies have shown that about one in 11 high school students have been hit, slapped or physically hurt on purpose in the last year. He added that one in 11 has also been forced into sex when they didn’t want it. As high as 96 percent of high school students in the country have reported emotional or physical abuse.

Clemmons offered advice for teens who are experiencing this type of relationship, and the number one thing was, “tell someone.”

“Tell a friend, a teacher, a parent,” Clemmons said. Victims of domestic violence can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE or New Horizons.

“Those women are pitbulls and they will not stop until they’ve helped you,” Clemmons said.

And if a teen thinks they have a friend in danger Clemmons said, “talk to an adult so you don’t have to carry the burden yourself. Get them help.”

Following the assembly Clemmons said the only thing a law enforcement officer needs to arrest someone for domestic violence is signs such as defensive wounds, scratches, bite marks, damaged furniture, bruising, etc.

“There are always signs,” Clemmons said.

However sometimes a woman will report a boyfriend or husband for being verbally or emotionally abusive and in those cases, law enforcement officers can’t do anything right of way.

“We will direct her to the clerk of court who will have her fill out a 50-B which is a protective order,” Clemmons explained. “Certain elements have to be met, but she’ll fill it out with the clerk then go before the judge and present her side of what happened and the judge will decide what to do.

“It’s difficult for a law enforcement officer because he’s helpless at that point,” Clemmons said about an abuse complaint where no physical violence has occurred yet. “But he’s not at a disadvantage because he can inform her of her rights, choices and obligations. And if someone has communicated a threat to her, she can take out a warrant for arrest.”

Clemmons explained further that the 50-B form is designed to keep the abuser from following, harassing and communicating with the victim by telephone, e-mail, text messaging, etc.

And depending on how a judge marks the case, sometimes the abuser will be prevented from going to the victim’s work, the children’s school and anywhere she seeks shelter.

“As a law enforcement officer, with probable cause that those violations took place, we can make an arrest and we’re obligated under the law to do so,” Clemmons said.

For more information on domestic violence including signs and helpful resources, contact New Horizons at 997-4840 or visit the North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence online at www.nccadv.org.