The racket we heard on Oct. 21’s op-ed page, here, was Robert Lee in hot pursuit of his favorite nemeses, Hillary and Obama. Trailing along with the pack of adorable flop-eared hounds that are staples of most southern prison escape movies, Mr. Lee will not rest until he hauls that rascally duo to political punditry justice.
I caught up with Mr. Lee’s sometimes sidekick, Fly-on-the-wall, for some insight.
“My wings wore out trying to keep up with them!” Fly panted. “This ‘Uranium One’ notion had him so distracted, I even tried splashing his soup … couldn’t get a swat or a ‘shoo!’”
“What’s up with ‘Uranium One’, Fly?”
“Beats me,” he sighed. “Robert is steamed that Hillary allowed Russia 20 percent control of our uranium supply. But we only produce 2 percent of it, worldwide, and no one can export U.S. uranium by law.”
“That deal dates back to 2010, Fly … pretty tired stuff. Nearly a dozen U.S. agencies had to sign off on it. Anyone else could have stopped it.”
Fly shook his head. “They were hounding her aplenty with Benghazi, e-mails, etc., but not this.”
“Gee, has he alerted the Robert Mueller investigative team?”
“Nah. I passed it on to a cousin in Washington who hangs around Mueller’s office. Their snacks are great and they never change their pest strips,” Fly chortled.
“Any interest from them?”
Eyeing some morsels, Fly responded, “Are you kidding? They’re too deep into Gen. Flynn, Paul Manafort, Donald Jr., and the really significant leads.”
“OK, Fly, but what gives with Mr. Lee and Hillary and Obama? Are your frequent houseguests, um, bugging him too much?”
Fly groaned. “Not funny! They’ve been well behaved since they saw how fast on the draw he is with his Raid can.” Fly continued, “But even out of office, he thinks those two are all-powerful … kind of like Svengali and Rasputin.”
“So Fly, did Mr. Lee ever spot Hillary and Obama in his recent pursuit?”
Fly peered up from his cookie crumb. “He thought so. But they looked more like Tony Curtis shackled to Sidney Poitier to me!”
“You’ve been watching too many movies, Fly, that’s an old one.”
“I know. Gotta’ buzz, now … I hear Robert’s hounds baying!”
Douglas Smith is a Rockingham resident and frequent letter-to-the-editor writer.