Dishonesty is the highest form of disloyalty. Nothing is a greater offense to true loyalty than fake love.
Have you been victimizing yourself or others by putting on a facade of fake love?
Do you consistently behave in ways that are antithetical to your core values and highest priorities all in the name of “taking one for the team?”
Are you orienting your life around fruitless activities, uninspiring commitments, and unhealthy relationships because you’re afraid of saying “no” and hurting someone’s feelings?
Not sure? Fair enough. We all have doubts. That’s okay. Having doubts, however, vastly differs from pretending to believe what you know you don’t believe in order to avoid looking like the bad guy.
If you lie to yourself and others about who you really are, what you actually need, what you truly want, and what you can realistically do, you are not doing anyone any favors. I repeat: you are not doing anyone any favors.
Whenever you play the “pretend to be happy and nice” game as a way to avoid making others uncomfortable, you’re just setting the other party up for a delayed and doubly troublesome episode of “I hate you for not properly appreciating all the different ways I sacrificed my happiness for you.” You may not utter those actual words, but your budding resentment will see to it that you get the message across somehow. If it’s not heard in your words, it’ll be observable in your ways. If you don’t say it verbally, you’ll signal it vibrationally.
Regardless of how long you delay, your frustration will eventually see the light of day.
If you’re too nice today, you’ll be too mean tomorrow.
If you don’t draw boundary lines in the present, you’ll be drawing battle lines in the future.
Save yourself the trouble.
Save yourself and others from the monster you’ll eventually become if you keep denying your convictions for the sake of convenience.
T.K. Coleman is the education director for Praxis and an adjunct faculty member for the Foundation for Economic Education.