This time last year I was madly in love and bringing in 2013 with my boyfriend at the time. I even watched Univision’s festivities instead of Ryan Seacrest. I don’t speak Spanish so I had no idea what was going on. It was a flashing picture show to me. I should have seen this as a sign of my future to come.
I wanted a career that I could love and would give me personal satisfaction. I have always enjoyed providing information and resources to people. I decided to give radio a shot. I enrolled at Carolina School of Broadcasting in Charlotte.
On Jan. 21, I started having flashbacks of my dad whose birthday was coming up and I actually contemplated suicide. I ended up in the hospital, and it was recommended that I not stay alone for the time being. The quiet time helped me rationalize and realize that I didn’t need to be with someone who made me feel priceless yet worthless at the same time. I had to break up with the toad. Upon discharge, I moved from Charlotte back to Hamlet, and in with my parents who have been wonderful to me this past year.
I would waste several months of valuable healing time repeatedly tearing open my wounds trying to convince a man to stop drinking in order to have a meaningful life with me. The only thing I desired was true love, and it was missing from my life. No job to love. No man to make me feel loved.
By summer I had started looking for a job. I was directionless and open to anything that seemed interesting. Probably not the best way to go about it, but it worked. I was hired here as a full-time general assignment reporter in November. I never saw myself working in a newsroom. So far I love my job. I am doing what I originally sought to do which is provide information and resources to the community. It’s just in print. My Hollywood counterpart would have to be Josie Geller from Never Been Kissed. Geller was a really sweet, hardworking wannabe undercover reporter who had never had a real relationship.
In October I came to the conclusion that I would never stop loving my toad. Realizing this, I put myself back in the game. The dating game. With Richmond County being a small place, and I don’t know where to meet singles other than at church or in a bar, I decided to try online dating. I’ve met a lot of interesting people, I’m learning what I do and do not want, but most of all it has gotten my mind off of him. I’m still single, but happy. It has been really fun so far, if nothing else. I would definitely recommend it to other singles. You may not find your soul mate, but it’s a start. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Around Christmas time I joked that Santa hated me. My reasoning for this was that all I want right now is true love in my life. I realized while preparing to write this that I do have love. I have a very supportive family. I love my new job where every day is a challenge. Most importantly, you have to love yourself before anyone else can. I plan to work on that one more in depth starting today. I spent 2013 breaking down and now I’m slowly collecting the pieces; 2014 will be a “construction zone” year.