Photo courtesy of J.A. Bolton
                                J.A. Bolton’s hand-me-down shotgun.

Photo courtesy of J.A. Bolton

J.A. Bolton’s hand-me-down shotgun.

Several years ago my wife and I were invited to go and do some night fishing for crappie at Lake Jordon. Our friend had a nice pontoon boat that was very comfortable to fish from.

We arrived at the lake about an hour before sundown with just enough time to reach our fishing destination which was under the highway sixty four bridge. As we neared the bridge there were boats lined up everywhere. Somehow the word had gotten out that the crappie were tearing it up.

Well we picked us out a spot and anchored our boat down for what was going to be a good night of fishing. As we were getting our fishing equipment ready, I tossed out the first line which had a cork on it and a rather large minnow attached to the hook. Then I proceeded to outfitting my wife’s pole.

A few minutes had passed and my wife said, “I don’t see your cork anywhere.” Well I just figured the cork had floated under the boat so I told her to reel the line in. Low and behold, as she tightened the line something started pulling the drag out on the reel. Man that fish had that little crappie reel a singing I want you to know. You could tell it wasn’t a crappie because of the way the pole was bending. I say’s ,“Hold on girl, you got something big on the other end of that line.”

All eyes from every boat around were watching the tussle my wife was having with that large fish.

All of a sudden that there fish came to the surface and jumped three feet in the air. Why it was a large mouth bass that would tip the scales at just under ten pounds. Everyone was cheering as the beautiful bass dove back into the lake. You can only imagine what a fight my wife was having with that fish on such light tackle as a crappie reel spooled with only four pound test line.

Finally, she managed to get the fish to the boat and we netted it. Why my wife was as proud as a kid with a new pony, don’t you know. I held it up so everyone around could see and then proceeded to throw it back. Wrong!!! My wife said, “You ain’t going to throw my fish back in. I’m going to take it home and have him mounted.” I tried to explain to her about the catch and release program but she would have none of that, no sir-ree. Well she had caught that fish fair and square and that fish was going home with her, no if-and or buts about it.

We did catch several messes of crappie that night but the only fish that went home with us late that night was the big bass.

We didn’t have a freezer at that time so I kept the large fish on ice till the next day. The next day I carried the large fish down to my Mom’s and placed it in her freezer. She and Dad were not at home at the time and somehow it slipped my mind to tell them that we had planned to get the fish mounted.

Several weeks passed and my wife asked me when we were going to take her fish to a taxidermist. Well I told her that Mom had invited us to supper the following evening. We would pick up her fish then and take it to a friend of mine who would mount it.

By now some of you have figured out where this story’s going, but you could be wrong. Sure enough when we walked in for supper, Mom said, “I told your Dad to clean that big fish in the freezer and I’d cook it for our supper.” There on the kitchen table lay my wife’s trophy bass fried up all golden brown.

What do you say in a situation like that? You just grin and bear it right. My wife was a little green under the collar but she ate lots and lots of fish that evening but this here story don’t end here, no sir-re.

After supper it was getting a little late so my wife and I went home and went to bed. Later that very night she woke me up and said her side was killing her and that I needed to take her to the hospital quick.

Well I took her to the E.R. so they could run some tests on her. The very first test they tried to run was a sonogram on her gall bladder. They put so much of that greasy gel on her that when the technician went to press down on the wand my wife slid off the table and right out the door with only a one sided hospital grown on. Why she bowled over two nurses and a janitor as she slid out into the hall. The red lights on the hall went to flashing and all I could say was, “Come back here Ethel,” to late, she done slid out the automatic doors into the parking lot. There just so happened to be a big Cadillac parked in the circle and my wife slid up under it and bounced off of all four tires. Why later she said she could have changed that car’s oil with a six inch adjustable wrench before she slid out and was headed to the main highway.

Myself and half the hospital staff were in hot pursuit don’t you know. Finally we were able to round her up and put her back in the hospital. They finished the test and told us her gall bladder had to come out the next day. The doctors came up with the conclusion that my wife’s body couldn’t handle much grease inside or out.